Everyone is different. The word individual is key. No two people are the EXACT same, even twins, they might be pretty dang close, but their personalities are different. Basically, no one is just like you or me. We are all unique. My weightless journey is not the same as yours. We might have similarities, but we are all slightly different. I have been struggling since I was 13 to lose weight. My most recent effort has been over the past two years. I have tried to go to many people, I have seen people say they can promise I will lose 10-15 lbs, but guess what, I didn't. And it wasn't because they didn't have good advice, but that their advice didn't work for my body. My body is currently yelling at me that something is wrong. Over the past 2 months, I had one person mention that a reaction I was having on my ear, might be from what I am putting into my body. That was the first step in the right direction that I have had in a LONG time. Well yesterday I made a video to share a little bit about what is going on. I don't talk about what might be the cause yet, because I have some experimenting to do and I just need to figure stuff out, but what I thought was healthy and good, my body didn't like it. I actually thought the issue was broccoli at first, based on how I felt after I ate it, but turns out, it's not broccoli, phew. I like broccoli and it is so easy to cook. But either way, the point is that no one knows what is going on with you. If someone promises they can do something, just know that they might not be able to help, but they also might. It's worth a shot, but at the same time, worth remembering that you aren't alone. There are lot's of people who have this struggle and I hope we all can start figuring out what is going on within our bodies to help us on this journey.

First off, I get it...working out doesn't help the scale move. If you are trying to lose weight, it is 80% nutrition, and 20% exercise. That being said, why not workout?

Working out does numerous things for your body, your mind, your health, and your weight-loss journey. It might not help the scale move, but do you ever wonder why some people lose weight and are all flabby, and others look more toned and tight....well exercise is the answer. If you really just want to lose weight, and don't care about anything else, cool, don't workout. But...I think that we all have a real reason we are trying to lose weight. It could be to be skinnier, look healthier, be healthier, change our lab results, be around for our family members, or maybe to be able to do activities with family members and friends. I think that if we really try to figure out the reason we are losing weight, we will find that we have reasons we are aware of and ones we aren't.

My last post talked a little about some of those reasons we may not be aware of. I am sure there are more to come in the future. This post is about working out. What it does for me. I mentioned in the last post that I am strong and confident now and care less about the scale actually moving. That is because of my working out. 

I workout a lot. A few posts ago shows a little of what I am doing currently. I workout so that I can be a better fiance and co-worker. It is my stress relief. I have been active since I can remember. Even though I am overweight, I played basketball, soccer, softball, tennis, crew. I was super active growing up, but my weight still sucked. However, if you look at my labs, my cholesterol is perfect, my blood pressure is textbook, my blood sugar levels are normal, I am by all accounts healthy. Now it's the happy part that matters. What will make me happy? I used to think it was hitting 140 lbs. Now I think it's something different. 

What will make me happy is feeling strong and confident. Going on my honeymoon and hiking Machu Pichu and the Inca Trail for 4 days and not being the person holding everyone back. Succeeding at this adventure and feeling good about it. Not wishing I was faster and stronger to keep up with other people. I get it, I will probably be the heaviest there, but that's ok. My goal is to have fun and complete the hike. If I can do that, I win. I am just like all the other people, but I am doing it for me. I want good memories. I want to be able to do things and not say no because I am scared I will hurt myself because of my weight. When I workout, I can lift, I can push, I can get stronger. That is what matters to me. 

Over the past 3 years, I have moved almost every 3 months. We were travelling with a toolbox that at the beginning of our trip, I would ask my now fiance to grab and carry. It was really heavy. About halfway through our travels, when I had started CrossFit again and was taking care of my mental needs, I went to pick it up and thought, this isn't that heavy. That was a HUGE moment for me. I sw the strength paying off. I really didn't want ot life it 1.5 years ago, and now...sure I can carry that up 4 flights to our 100 degree Boston apartment. I was stronger, and I saw it! That is an awesome feeling. Figure out what really matters to you, and that is what happens. I have worked out regularly since then.

The scale may not be budging, but I am likely losing inches, since my clothes are a little looser. It's a little hard to tell because I love baggy clothes, so now that they are baggy, I don't want to change sizes. haha. That's a good problem. My weight is the same but I have other great things happening because of it.

I am Strong
I am Confident
I am Powerful 
I am Empowered
I am WORTH IT!

That's my new phrase for pushing through. It's all that matters in my mind. Screw the scale!

First off, I don't really feel "stressed" often. I know that stress exists, but I don't get overwhelmed by it often. I think that is one of the reasons I work out so regularly as it helps keep me "grounded" and level-headed. 

While I am still not overwhelmed with stress, I thought it was important to discuss, as I am currently taking a course that talks about how stress can effect ones ability to get injured while working out and loading themselves. 

You never know what is going on with someone else, unless they really take the time and feel comfortable sharing everything. Even then, some people don't realize that certain things are stressing them, until the stressing factor is gone, and they magically feel a weight lifted off their shoulders. For instance, a patient of mine recently sold a house, and at our session this person expressed that the pain had decreased and that he/she didn't realize how stressed they were, until it was over. Sometimes we don't know, and that is ok. The important thing to notice is that stress exists for everyone and that we need to keep that in mind when it comes to working out, life, and weight-loss. You might even notice that if you are really stressed, the scale doesn't move as much, and that is because we are stressing our bodies and they are trying to cope with everything. Usually that comes in the annoying form of keeping us as weight for a long plateau, or possibly dropping or gaining some weight. The key is that everyone is different, and we need to learn about ourselves and remember that we have things going on that we may not realize are effecting us as much as they might be. 

For me, I am starting my own business, just bought a house, and am getting married all within about 7 months of each other. I didn't realize that these things might be stressing me more than I think they are because I am not a worrier. I am very practical and logical, so I take one thing at a time, but my mind and body really might be rebelling because I am more stressed than I realize. 

I will keep taking one day at a time, but this is just something to consider in your daily journey, whatever it is. 

Woke up early, before the sun even woke me up. It's been happening a few days a week for the past few weeks, but I am ok with it. Although, I am one of those 100% NOT A MORNING PERSON types. Before 10am, my energy level is low and I like quiet time. Those are the small things that are important to know. However, even though I want to be alone, I am learning to be productive with this morning time. Instead of lying in bed for an hour, I cuddle with the dog for maybe 15 minutes, and then get up. I am still sluggish, and quiet, but my brain is mentally awake. I don't know if it's because my dog no longer likes to cuddle for 2 hours and prefers 15 min max, or if I feel I have a purpose and some clarity in my life and am trying to put some thoughts into action. Either way, it's working.

Even though I am getting up and being productive...I still will NOT go work out this early in the AM. I have tried it numerous times, for numerous days, and it still isn't for me. While I feel productive for having gotten my workout in, my body hates it. My joints aren't happy, when I am done I am tired and want to take a nap, and if I can't fit a nap in, I am tired the entire day. I don't know if it is because I worked out after school in high school and in college and grad school worked out at like 10 or 11 pm, then passed out. My body greatly prefers late day workouts or mid day workouts. So instead of pushing myself to keep changing my habits to what everyone else says is best, screw it. I have learned over the past 32 years what my body likes, and AM workouts are NOT IT, and that is ok. :) 

So I will be productive with my mind, while my body is still waking up and getting used to a vertical position. I hope everyone listens to their bodies and does what is best for them. We all know ourselves better than other people know us, so use that to your advantage and figure out what routines work and don't work for you. Don't let others change that. Feel free to try of course, but ultimately, you will figure out what you like. 

This is my first blog, so we will see how this goes.
My primary goal is to be strong and confident, both mentally and physically. Of course, with many things, there is a reason that I am starting this now. I am usually a very private person, but I think that more people need real life inspiration and connections, so my hope is to be one of those sources. So, here is my story…

First off, like many others, I have always been an athlete. I played basketball, softball, snowboarded, and rowed through high school and college. I have struggled with my weight my entire life, like many of you. I have been on Weight Watchers more times than I would like to admit, tried Paleo, no wheat or grains, no dairy, etc. When I look back, it's exhausting to think about.

When I was 13, I went on Weight Watchers for the first time. Worked great, lost 20 lbs, was at a healthy, but heavy weight. Then came high school, and the same thing happened. Over a summer, joined Weight Watchers for the second time, with my mom. Worked great again, but then came college. Once again, I was becoming overweight and not happy with myself. I wasn't working out nearly as much as I had in high school and earlier, but it was starting to catch up with me. I finished college, went back on Weight Watchers, lost some of the weight, but then got into graduate school. So once again, I wasn't eating the best, and I was just trying to survive school. I joined WW again in my second year of school, but that was really hard to maintain when I had to go to school at 7am, leave at 5 pm, and study until 11pm. I got into a gym routine at some point, as it was the only way for me to stay mentally sound. During this time, I had to go to physical therapy for some knee pain. It was actually kind of cool being in school for Physical Therapy (PT) and going to PT, as I got to see a different side of it.

Anyways, I once again gained weight, hired someone to make food for me so I could eat more healthy, but it didn't matter. I wasn't being as active, even though I worked out almost every night from 11pm-12am. I was still drinking my sugary latte drinks when I studied and pretty much living at a coffee shop. In my third year of PT school, I was determined to lose weight. I had met a guy 1.5 years earlier, I was graduating in 4 months, and I was determined. I joined a new gym, since I had a little more of a set schedule, and did a Paleo challenge at my new CrossFit gym. It was great. I had an accountability coach that I had to send an email to everyday on what I ate. She continuously told me to eat more. I was also working out 5 times a week. By graduation, I was 5'3" and 174 lbs. Even though my BMI was still high and I was still "obese", I felt great. I was strong, felt good, and not shopping at a plus size store. This was huge for me. I still had more weight to lose, but I was in a good place.

Sadly, it didn't last. Once again, I started living in coffee shops, studying for the NPTE (National Physical Therapy Board Exam). My weight started to increase slowly, I was still working out, but not as hard core and I was eating pretty healthy like I was in the Paleo challenge, but not perfect. After some studying, and a year of my first job, I was once again overweight. This time I had reached the 200lb mark, my heaviest ever. I didn't feel good about myself, I didn't feel confident, strong, or super happy. So... when my boyfriend and I decided to start traveling across the country for a couple years, I took that as an opportunity to begin my adventure of weight loss and take it seriously. The 6th or so time is a charm, right? I once again did Weight Watchers, since it worked in the past. I walked 15-20,000 steps a day and even attempted running, which I hate by the way. Every time I try to run, I realize how much I am not meant to run. Well, I lost 10 lbs in the first few months. That was awesome. Then I somehow plateued...for 1.5 years. I ate the same, walked a lot, but nothing moved. Then I did a kickstart again and lost 5 more pounds. Then I plateued for 1 year. What the heck! 

Well, a lot happened in that 2.5 year period, which I will cover in some later posts. However, about a month ago, I made a change. I started eating more then I have eaten since I did Paleo and working out a little differently then I have been over the past 6 months. Finally, the scale moved! I started feeling stronger again and my plateau is over. I am currently 20 lbs down, and have a long way to go, but through this journey I have learned a LOT. My hope is to share my story and experiences with anyone who wants to read/listen. I know I am not alone, but sometimes we feel alone. So this is me taking a leap and sharing my story. It is scary to put this info out into the internet abyss, but sometimes that is what needs to happen. So here it is. I will give more insight into me and my story along the way. I also hope to give some tidbits of advice that might help people in a similar process as me. Feel free to follow my instagram as well, as I post workouts a lot on there. 

Thanks for reading.